Great Aunt Skittles

Today I'm posting a picture of Belle's dear great aunt Skittles. Skittles lives with my parents, and so doesn't get to see Belle that often, which is probably a good thing, since their relationship is somewhat volatile.

Skittles is very much a lap cat. She likes to visit the living room, scout out the best lap, and then proceed to nap on said lap until the lap disappears, most likely due to a need to use the lavatory by the owner of the lap. Yes sir, Skittles likes nothing better than a good nap on a lap. I wish some kitties (cough, Belle, cough) would learn a thing or two from her.

Belle is what I call 'lap challenged'. She very rarely will lie down on my lap, and when she does, it usually doesn't last that long. With Belle, she decides when the lap session will end, whereas Skittles will be on that lap until an outside force makes her move. On the one hand, its sort of disappointing that Belle doesn't go in for the whole lap thing, but on the other hand, at least I can always go to the bathroom when I want, without having to worry about disturbing the cat.

Belle and Skittles have met on at least one occasion, and things didn't go all that smoothly for them. As I recall, Belle spent most of her visit inside her kitty carrying case, electing not to come out and give great aunt Skittles a hug. Skittles must have thought Belle was very rude. Eventually Skittles did wander over to Belle's cage to take a peek inside, only to be greeted by Belle's nasty hissing. Belle does have a tendency to hiss at any other cat that she sees, even dear relatives like her great aunt Skittles.

Flashback: Little Kitty Belle

Belle has refused to do anything interesting lately. This is why her blog hasn't been updated in over a week. I think she's been saving her energy for TYKTWD, which is on Wednesday. I keep telling her that I won't update the blog unless she gives me something to write about.

Today Belle suggested that I post an old picture of her, because, as Belle puts it, "I was such an adorable kitten". I can't disagree with her about that. She was an adorable kitten, and that's a fact. (And I know something about adorable-ness, having personally named my Cabbage Patch doll 'Adorabella Marigold' in the mid 80s.)

This picture was taken shortly after Belle came to live with us, in January of 2005. As you can see, Belle was a might bit smaller back then, especially in the gut area. Belle says her increase in gut size is "directly attributable to the spaying operation", and that "Andrea and I have no one to blame for her gut except each other". I suppose that is one way of looking at it.

Another thing you might notice in this photograph is that Belle is wearing a collar and nametag. This did not last very long. The collar had a little bell attached to it (yes, Belle used to wear a bell!), so that whenever Belle moved around, the bell would jingle. This got old pretty fast, especially when we were trying to sleep and Belle was prowling around our bed.

And for the record, Belle claims that she doesn't "prowl" -- she "glides". She says that only street kitties "prowl", and it's degrading for me to describe her gliding motion as a prowl.

In summary: what a cutie she was! (and still is, according to herself)

Licking Jim Nabors

Tomorrow I am leaving on another trip, this time to California. I'm going to a music festival near Palm Springs, but Belle elected not to accompany me. It's probably for the best -- I doubt she would like the heat, or the music for that matter. So while I'm away baking in the desert sun, Belle will be at home licking her paws and listening to the stereo.

Belle prefers listening to inspirational music. One of her favorite artists is Jim Nabors -- she plays his records all the time. At first I didn't like him so much, but after a while he grew on me. Now I pop his records into the turntable every once in a while all by myself. His rendition of 'Little Green Apples' is a winner.

When I invited Belle to the music festival, she asked me, "Is Jim Nabors going to be there?"

"No, I don't think he will be there, unfortunately," I told her. "But Bjork will be there and she's pretty good, don't you think so?"

"Eh," she replied. "I like that old-timey music."

Belle has been using the phrase 'old-timey music' ever since she watched 'O Brother Where Art Thou' last week. She does that a lot - picking up phrases from movies or TV shows and then using them over and over until she wears them out. I can still remember the last time she watched 'Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure' - she kept on telling us how 'Wild Stallions Rule!'. That got old real fast.

Belly rub

It seems as though the weather has warmed up enough so that Belle is no longer interested in using the second floor compartment of her kitty condo. She's now spending all of her kitty condo time on the third floor, "the penthouse". When I came up to give her a pet this morning, she was in a fine mood. She even let me rub her belly. I knew that her good mood could only last so long, however.

After a few minutes, Belle let it slip that she had been thinking about TYKTWD (Take Your Kitty To Work Day), and realized that it has the same initials as 'Take Your Kids To Work Day', if such a holiday even exists. This bothered Belle very much, but she had already thought of a solution.

"If such a holiday as 'Take Your Kids To Work Day' does exist, then it's name should be changed to 'Take Your Children To Work Day', thus avoiding any confusion with TYKTWD," she explained.

"I guess that makes sense," I replied. "Or, you could change the name of your holiday to Take Your Cat to Work Day. That would also solve the problem."

It did not appear as though Belle had considered my suggestion previously, and she did not look very pleased to be hearing it suggested.

"Hmm. That's an interesting thought," she said as she rolled over onto her stomach, thus ending the belly rubbing session. "But it would make more sense for the kids to change their holiday. After all, I'm sure our kitty holiday has been around far longer."

I could sense by the tone in her meow that I was not to proceed any further with my ridiculous notion of making the cats change their holiday name.

"Perhaps you could look into this kids holiday for me, see what it's proper name is," she asked me. "I would do it myself, but, as you know, I prefer to work on Macs. Your PC is such a pain to use."

"I know, I know," I told her. "I'll get around to it when I get around to it"

Belle never gives out a belly rub without asking for something in return. I keep telling Andrea we should buy a Mac so that Belle could do her research on her own, but Andrea says they're too expensive.

Lord and Cat?

As you may know by now, Belle is a Christian, and a Baptist at that. She attends services every Sunday, and usually extends an invitation for Andrea and I to come along with her, which we always respectfully decline. I might go if there were other people there, but the church that Belle attends has only cats in its congregation.

Sometimes Belle's strong religious beliefs can cause some friction in our apartment, and today was one of those days. I overheard Belle saying a prayer before breakfast. She said, "Lord God, Heavenly Father, bless us and these Thy Gifts which we receive through Thy bountiful Goodness, through Jesus Christ our Lord and Cat. Amen."

"Lord and Cat" I couldn't help but repeating. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"What do you mean, 'What's that supposed to mean'?" questioned Belle. From her confused expression, I gathered that referring to Jesus as 'Lord and Cat' was nothing out of the ordinary for her.

"Why do you call Jesus 'Lord and Cat', Belle?" I asked her.

"Because he is a Lord, the son of God. And a cat," replied Belle.

This was strange, I thought to myself. I attended Sunday school for many years, and I don't remember anything about there even being a remote possibility that Jesus was a cat. I told Belle as much. "In human circles, it's thought that Jesus was a human, and not a cat, Belle." This did not sit well with her.

"Oh really?" she replied. "That's an interesting view. Complete rubbish, of course, but interesting nonetheless. You humans, you do think of some wild ideas, now don't you? Now, if you'll be excusing me, I'm in the middle of breakfast here."

And with that Belle went back to eating, though I could tell she wasn't enjoying her meal nearly as much as usual. I then received the silent treatment until lunchtime, which is Belle's way of telling me to drop it.

I don't have time to play with you, I have to write about you!

Today Belle wanted me to play with her. She has a wire toy that she likes to play with. Unfortunately, she won't play with it by herself, so I have to participate, waving the wire toy back and forth as Belle attacks the little cardboard bit that is at the end of the wire. The play session tends to get old fast for me, even faster than it does for Belle, and that's saying something.

Today when Belle asked me to play, I told her, "I would love to, but I have to go write an entry in your blog. You wouldn't want me to miss writing an entry for today because I had to play with you, now would you?"

"No," replied Belle, "But I don't think I should have to choose between the two."

"Oh really," I said, "I suppose you think I ought to be able to do both then."

"I'm going to lie down on the windowsill," Belle snipped back at me.

Then Belle went her way and I went mine, down to the computer to write this article. After I was at my computer for a moment, I heard a pitiful moaning noise coming from upstairs. I went upstairs and found Belle in a most pathetic pose on the windowsill, lying listlessly but not sleeping, as her eyes were still wide open. She let out a sad moan every few seconds. I took a picture of her for posterity, so everyone can see how Belle gets when she doesn't get her way.

"What's the big idea, Belle?" I asked her.

"Oh, nothing. I'm just resting."

"Then what's with the racket? Are you not feeling well?"

"What would you care?," she hissed back.

I could see that Belle did not appreciate my refusal to play with her. Writing an article under such conditions would not be possible.

"Fine. Let's play, Belle," I told her.

"Okay, if you really want to," Belle replied happily.

She jumped off the windowsill and ran to her wire toy, and we played for a full five minutes. Then she let me go write my article, but I had forgotten what it was I was going to write about, so I wrote this instead.

A Kitty-Sized Adventure

Recently Belle had a big adventure -- big for a cat, anyway. It all started when Andrea opened the apartment door. Andrea was going to a movie, but she didn't invite Belle to go. Belle, obviously feeling slighted by Andrea's non-invitation, bolted out of our apartment and ran down the hallway.

Before Andrea could catch her, Belle had made it to our next door neighbor's apartment, where the door happened to open as well. As Andrea closed in upon her, Belle made the only move that she could -- she ran into our next door neighbor's apartment and out of sight. Smart kitty that she is, Belle knew that this would slow down Andrea's chase, as Andrea was not about to barge into another apartment.

Belle entered the foreign apartment and wandered around, gradually taking in the new scenery. Belle has an immense interest in interior decorating, and loves visiting other apartments to see how they have been decorated. She thinks our apartment is "exceedingly dull".

Finally Belle heard a knock on the door. It was Andrea! Belle bolted down the staircase. She looked for a place to hide, and found an ideal spot -- underneath the bed. Belle sat very quietly, listening closely to hear what she could of the conversation between Andrea and the strange woman that inhabited this new apartment. Despite her best efforts, she couldn't tell what they were saying.

Then there were footsteps coming down the staircase. Andrea had come to search for her. Belle held her ground as the search proceeded. Finally they came to the bedroom. Andrea knelt down and looked under the bed. "Come out, Belle. You're going to make me late for the movie!" said Andrea.

But Belle refused to come out. Her plan was to make Andrea miss the movie. If Belle couldn't go, then Andrea shouldn't be able to go either. After another minute of coaxing, Andrea gave up. She told our neighbor, "When Belle does come out, just knock on our apartment door and Jeff will let her in."

And with that, Andrea left for the movies, foiling Belle's plan. Belle sat under the bed, stewing for a few minutes more. Finally she exited from her hideout and went back up the stairs, out of the apartment, and came back home. Then I had to listen to Belle complain about Andrea's insensitivity for an hour. Belle really needs to learn not to take things so personally.

When Andrea came home, I told her how the adventure had ended. Andrea felt bad about not inviting Belle to the movies. But in all fairness, Andrea was seeing a German film, "The Lives of Others", and we all know that Belle tends to fall asleep during foreign movies.

Nine Lives: The Memoirs of a Kitty

Andrea and I went to North Carolina last Thursday, and just returned home last night. We were away from Belle for the better part of five days. I wish Belle would accompany us on our vacations, but she prefers to stay home. I don't see why dogs get to have all the fun. We offered to bring along a harness/leash so that Belle could walk with us, and also a kitty backpack so that we could carry her around when she didn't feel like walking. But still, Belle decided against it. She doesn't seem to like the great outdoors very much.

Belle says that she used the time apart from us to work on her book. She is writing an autobiography. The working title is "Nine Lives: The Memoirs of a Kitty". I said, "Isn't it a little early to be writing your memoirs? You're not even three years old yet." She replied, "But what a life I've led!". I guess I can't argue with that. But as for the title, I wasn't too impressed - it sounds a bit generic to me. I told Belle as much and she said, "What don't you understand about the concept of a WORKING title? It's going to change, just as soon as I think of something better." I guess she doesn't like the title either. Belle has, however, already picked out a photo for the book jacket, which I've posted in this blog entry. I think it's a pretty good choice, but when I looked at it closely, I noticed that there is something on Belle's nose. Now she is going to have to do a re-shoot with her German photographer, Hans.

I asked Belle if I could take a look at her book, but she denied my request. She says that I can read it when it gets published. I told her, "I'm sure your book is good, but it might NEVER get published. There's a lot of kitties out there trying to sell their memoirs." She said, "With that attitude, it's no wonder you've never been published." That hurt.

A Patient Kitty

Yesterday was Take Your Kitty to Work Day, or so Belle had led us to believe. I woke up at 6:30 AM and went upstairs to make some coffee, and what should I find but Belle, sitting patiently by the front door, waiting for Andrea to get up and take her to work. I asked Belle, "How long have you been sitting like that?". She replied, "What time did you go to bed last night?". I think we went to bed around 10:30, so I guess she was waiting by the door for eight hours by the time I got up. She does love going to work.

I made breakfast, and finally Andrea came upstairs around 7:45. Belle was getting impatient by then. She told Andrea, "We only have 45 minutes to spare. Don't dawdle at breakfast, you know how I hate being late." Little did Belle know that Andrea had just paid a visit to the Official Kitty Holiday web site, and found that TYKTWD is actually on May 9th, not April 9th. Andrea explained this to Belle. It was not pretty. Belle was very disappointed.

But Andrea told her, "You wouldn't want to go into work today, you'd be the only kitty there! And that would hardly be any fun at all." Belle replied, "I suppose you're right. But it seems like I should get some extra food to make up for this horrible disappointment. I have been waiting for nine and a half hours now." Andrea said "That's ridiculous." Then after Andrea left for work, I gave Belle a shrimp. The poor thing, now she has to wait one whole more month.

Belle's Easter

Andrea and I had to go away this weekend to celebrate Easter/Passover with Andrea's parents. Belle decided to stay home, because she has an ongoing feud with her great uncle Oliver, who is a fat little dachsund. Belle claims that Oliver borrowed one of her catnip mice and never returned it. Oliver claims that the mouse was a gift, and that he has no obligation to return it. Furthermore, he has long since chewed said mouse into very tiny bits, which he then ate, and so now there is no mouse to return. This of course infuriated Belle to no end. Andrea and I tell her often that she should just forgive and forget (she is a Christian kitty after all), but Belle won't hear of it. Belle says that Easter is "the holiest of days", and she doesn't want it "being ruined by a stubborn old badger hound".

So we left Belle at home for Easter. Being as we weren't around, it is hard to say exactly what Belle did for Easter, though we're sure she must have celebrated it, since it's one of her favorite holidays, and we all know how much Belle loves holidays. If I had to take a guess as to what Belle did for Easter, this would be it:

6:30 AM - Belle wakes up and puts on her bunny hat. She does love her bunny hat.
7:00 AM - Belle scours the apartment for treats left by the Easter bunny. She finds three eggs, one filled with catnip, one filled with dry food, and the third filled with milk.
7:30 AM - Belle rolls around in catnip
8:00 AM - Belle eats the dry food and the milk
8:30 AM - Belle puts on her Sunday best and her new Easter hat.
9:00 AM - Belle attends church services
10:00 AM - Belle chit-chats with the other kitties at her church (she LOVES chit-chatting)
1:00 PM - Easter dinner. Belle makes a ham and invites her kitty friends over. Before they eat, Belle says her favorite Easter grace, of course!
3:00 PM - Belle takes a well-deserved nap
9:00 PM - Andrea and I come home to find Belle napping.

So as you can see, Belle (may have) had quite an Easter!

Plastic Bags = Delicious!

Today I went shopping and when I came home Belle helped me unpack. Belle claims to enjoy helping me unpack, but I believe that she has an ulterior motive - to get the plastic bags. I don't know what's so great about plastic bags, but Belle just loves them. In particular, she enjoys licking them. I guess they must taste good to a cat's palette, which Belle says is "infinitely more sophisticated" than that of a human. She must be right, because I tried licking the plastic bags myself and I thought they just tasted like plastic.

Belle's favorite plastic bags are from Target. She says they have a fruity flavor, with a robust aftertaste. She doesn't like Price Chopper's bags very much though, she says they taste of rotten eggs and old cabbage. Sometimes for a special treat, I give her bags from the Godiva store at the mall. She says they taste like flannel. I don't know what to make of that.

Belle is getting pretty excited for TYKTWD, which is on Monday. She picked out matching outfits for her and Andrea to wear to work on Monday - turqoise scoopneck sweaters with dark gray pencil skirts. Now Belle is trying to convince Andrea to purchase said outfits. Andrea doesn't want to spend the money, but as Belle says, "Take Your Kitty to Work Day comes but once a year".

Stretching Routine

Today I went running for the first time in a while, and afterwards I did some stretching. Belle likes to stretch too. She helped me out with my stretching routine today. She especially loves stretching mats. The only problem with that is that her little claws tend to get stuck in the stretching mat, and then when she pulls her claws out, little bits of the mat get torn apart. I asked her if maybe she would like to get declawed, but she said, "Thanks, but no thanks. How about we de-fingernail you?". "I don't want my fingernails removed", I told her. "That sounds painful." "Tell me about it", she replied.

But anyway, Belle is a good little stretcher. I keep trying to convince her to come on a run with me, but she says that running is "a fruitless endeavor". I think she's just lazy.

I saw all sorts of kitties on my run this morning. There was one little black kitty that was in the street, but then when I got closer, she hid under a van. I named that kitty 'Petunia'. And then there was another little orange kitty that was in the street, but when I got closer, she was gone. I don't know where she went. I named her 'Genevieve'. I find that most cats tend to hide when I run by. Cats are shy, just like me. And finally, there was this one little puffball of a cat that was in a driveway. She had long hair and looked pretty old, and she didn't go anywhere when I ran by. I named her 'Bessie'. Good old Bessie. So anyway, as you can tell, cat-spotting is the highlight of my running. I don't tell Belle about the other cats, though. She gets awful jealous.

Kitty Condo, Second Floor

Today Belle spent a while in the second floor compartment of her kitty condo. The condo has two floors, and there is also space at the top of the condo, which Belle calls the "penthouse".

Belle likes the condo because it's right next to the heater, so she can curl up in the second floor compartment and let the heat waft up to her. I have a feeling she won't be using the compartment much once it gets warmer - it will be penthouse time then.

Belle doesn't ever use the first floor compartment of her kitty condo. I asked her why once, and she told me that "the first floor is for commoners". Sometimes Belle can be a bit of a snob.

One of the nice things about the kitty condo is that it serves double duty as a scratching post. Prior to the kitty condo, we had both wooden and rope scratching posts, neither of which Belle ever used. She didn't like scratching wood or rope nearly as much as our couch. Thankfully, when we got the kitty condo Belle started using it as her primary scratching post, though she still likes to let the couch know who's the boss occasionally. And it ain't Tony Danza.

In One End and Out the Other

Having a cat is pretty easy, though sometimes Andrea and I manage to make it look hard. In general, there isn't too much work involved. You just need to feed the cat and provide it some places to nap, and that's about it. Oh, and there's one other thing: the litter box. What goes into the cat must come out, sad but true.

And so the two main cat-related chores are as follows: 1) feeding and watering your cat AND 2) litter box maintenance.

Andrea and I have an arrangement for these two cat chores. Andrea does chore number one (feeding/watering), and I do chore number two (litter box). I don't remember how exactly we came to this arrangement.

Today I thought it might be fun for us to switch our chores. I asked Andrea about that possibility, but she said things are fine the way they are and that we shouldn't "rock the boat". I didn't even know we were on a boat. I pointed out to her that it doesn't seem fair that I always have to do litter box duty, while she gets to feed and water Belle. But Andrea said our jobs are "separate but equal", and to change jobs at this point would be "dangerous". So that's a bummer. I was looking forward to watering the cat.

Keyboard Warmer

I have been home a lot lately, on weekdays, during the daytime. Belle has been wondering why I've been home so much. At first I told her I was sick. Then after a week she said, "You don't look very sick to me." Belle can be very perceptive. So then I told her that I was taking a vacation. For a while she believed me, but today she said, "Two weeks of vacation already? And you're spending it lying around the apartment playing videogames? Must be nice." I responded, "I don't see you doing much all day". Belle did not appreciate that comment. I didn't want to lie any longer, so I finally told Belle the truth - I quit my job three weeks ago.

Belle was not impressed with this news. I tried to explain it to her. I told her how I had been unhappy at work for a long time, how I wanted to try doing something different, at least for the time being. I told her that Andrea makes enough money to support us while I am in between jobs, and that Belle wouldn't be going hungry (at least any more hungry than usual). Still Belle remained in a bad mood. I couldn't figure out why she cared so much.

Then it hit me. Now that I don't have a job, Belle's chances of being taken into the office on TYKTWD (Take Your Kitty To Work Day) have been cut in half. Previously either Andrea or I could have taken her into work, but now Andrea is her only hope. So I asked Belle, "Would it make you feel any better if I PROMISED that Andrea will take you into work on TYKTWD?". Belle said, "Well, I suppose that would be acceptable. Deal." So now Andrea is going to take Belle into work (though I haven't told Andrea yet). Belle's mood has markedly improved. Already, she is practicing keeping Andrea's keyboard warm. Belle likes to give the keyboard her personal touch, and by personal touch I mean getting enormous amounts of white and gray kitty hair stuck under the keyboard.

Belle's Favorite T-shirt

This is Belle's favorite t-shirt. She's been wearing it ALL the time lately. I asked her why she was wearing it so much and she said, "Because it's fashionable. Not that you would know anything about that, Mr. fleece and sweat pants". I thought that was rude of her to say, especially since I don't even own a pair of sweat pants. She must have been thinking of my pajama pants. I do wear those around the apartment sometimes. And what's wrong with fleece?

Belle has been greatly expanding her wardrobe lately. Yesterday she came home with two scarves and a sun dress. She said the scarves were buy one, get one free, and the sun dress was 70% off. Belle does like a good bargain. She is a frugal kitty, and that's fine by me.

I don't know why she needs any clothes at all, though. If I had a full coat of fur, I would never wear anything. In fact, sometimes I don't wear anything, even though I don't have a full coat of fur. But if Belle spots me in such a state, she'll meow at me until I put some clothes on. She says that she doesn't like seeing much skin, especially when it's "as pale as milk" like mine. She can be a tough kitty to please.

Lazy Sunday / Little Miss Sunshine

Today was a lazy Sunday. Belle and Andrea and I napped much of the day away. Belle is a good napper. Usually Andrea and I can't keep up with her napping, but today we came pretty darn close. After getting up at 7 this morning, Belle and I managed to nap from 8:30 to 12:30. Andrea got out of bed around 9:30, ate some cereal, and then napped from 10:00 to 12:30. I managed to not nap from 12:30-4:30, but then succumbed to another nap from 4:30-6:45 in the evening. Like I said, today was a lazy Sunday.

My excuse for all of this napping madness is that I woke up with a cold today. My throat was killing me and I had a headache, so I took some drowsiness-causing cold medicine first thing after waking up. Hence the napping. Belle and Andrea have no such excuse.

Belle does like a good nap. It's one of her favorite things. She and I have that in common. Belle gets to nap in lots of places that I don't, though, like on top of the dining table or on a footstool. I only ever get to nap in bed and on the couch. One time I tried to take a nap on a footstool, but it wasn't very comfortable. Belle told me, "What do you think you're doing, napping on my footstool? I don't try and shit in the sink, now do I?". I think she meant to say 'toilet', not 'sink'. She's always getting those confused. I guess she had a point though. I just wish she wouldn't use foul language like that.

Take Your Kitty to Work Day

Today when Andrea and I came home from a walk, we found Belle sleeping on our filing cabinet on top of a brown envelope. This was odd, as the filing cabinet is not one of her usual napping spots. I didn't know where the envelope came from either. We usually keep them in the closet, and neither Andrea or I could remember getting one out recently.

Then we remembered. It's only two weeks until Take Your Kitty to Work Day. We told Belle that we weren't going to celebrate this year, and she has been bothering us about it ever since. She obviously had gotten the envelope out herself and was taking a nap on it to prove that she could be well behaved in an office environment. Kitty is always one step ahead.

You see, the reason we don't want to take her into work this year is because in years past, things have not gone so well. Last year was particularly bad. Belle got into an argument with the kitty in the cubicle across from me. The other cat was a Mormon and Belle told him, "Your religion is rubbish, Joseph Smith was a fraud, and you, my friend, are a fool!". Belle can be a bit harsh when it comes to religion. She's a Baptist herself. A little kitty Baptist.

Did you miss me?

I returned home from Atlanta today. No sooner had I opened the door and dropped my bags on the floor than Belle ran over and jumped into my arms to greet me. Sometimes Belle can be a little over-affectionate (especially when we've been away on vacation). So I gave Belle a quick hug and then tried to set her down, but she wouldn't let go! Sometimes Belle just doesn't know when to let the hug end.

Later on, Belle and I had a nice long chat about my trip. I told her that the trip went pretty well, except for the part where I got a stomach bug and spent eight hours vomiting, and then had to spend the entirety of Wednesday lying on my bed at the hotel. "Hotlanta will do that to you", Belle said, "Lord knows, Hotlanta wll do that to you". Then Belle became strangely quiet, as if she was remembering events long since past. I guess Belle got sick in Atlanta once too.

As for Andrea's allegations (see the previous post, "Known Dogs"), let it be known that I was forced to play with the dog in those photos. Atlanta has a strict dog-play policy: for every day spent in the city, it is required that tourists spend one hour of playtime with an underprivileged dog. I assure you (as I assured Belle) that I dreaded every minute of it.

Known Dogs

Well. Kitty persists in her melancholy malaise long past the point of reason. She won't fetch, roll over, or wash the dishes. She just calls over and over "Jeff, Jeff". That may seem sweet, but her pronunciation is terrible and she has a really high pitched voice. It sounds awfully like a cat screeching because nobody will turn on the heat. I get brief periods of respite while she eats her pebbles, which I've started sprinkling all over the apartment in an attempt to prolong
the feast.

Her behavior into this now third day calls for more drastic measures however. I'm sorry to put you through this Belle, but the truth must be told for your own good. I received these pictures from an anonymous tipster today. The pictures are graphic, so I will spare you the after shots. Jeff isn't just buying you souvenirs in Hotlanta, he's cavorting with known dogs. Known dogs!